you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
