The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
