She said her name was "party"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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