What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
