Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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