You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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