Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
