Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
