this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
