I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
