when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
