so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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