we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
