he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
