The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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