I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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