Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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