I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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