I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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