Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
