wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
