dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
