She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
