your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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