can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
