The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
operation harelip BJ is a go
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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