I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
