You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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