Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
