This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
