he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
