everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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