I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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