I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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