i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
