theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
