I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
