you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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