i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
