Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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