You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
