someone get that fucking seahorse.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
