My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
