Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
