I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
