I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
