I think i peed on brittanys purse
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
