batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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