32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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