it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
