Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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