Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
