Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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