i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
