Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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