you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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