I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
